Verse of the Week
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.
1 Timothy 6:17-19 (NIV)
Phrase of the Week
God, I trust You!
#GodITrustYou
Sacrificial giving. Over the years I’ve sat through many sermons on this topic. I’ve always been okay with giving money when I didn’t have it to spare or donating my time when I barely had time for my own family. My struggle was with my belongings, my stuff. I’d give you money or time if you needed it, but if the Holy Spirit prompted me to give you my leopard print stilettos or the candy bar hidden in my desk, well, He better prompt hard.
All of that changed in a matter of seconds on April 27th when an EF-4 tornado leveled our subdivision and our home while we were inside. We quickly realized that the material possessions that meant so much before meant nothing when compared to the living, breathing people around us. All of the things we had worked to attain were never really ours anyway. God had given them to us to be stewards over for as long as we had them. Though it was sad to lose them, things are just things, and their value is in how they can be used to fulfill God’s purpose, not in how pretty they are or how comfortable they make our lives.
My true test in sacrificial giving came a few weeks ago. We found out in late July that I was pregnant with our second child. Despite the absolute shock, we were thrilled. At our first appointment on August 14, we nervously went in for the ultrasound. I could tell by the doctor’s expression that something was wrong. She then told us there was no heartbeat and very compassionately gave us our options. We chose to go home and pray. It was a horrible weekend, but I found hope. I was praying for a miracle, and I truly believed we would get it. I called the doctor’s office the following Monday and told them I wanted to wait two weeks and then come back in again for another ultrasound. I still felt pregnant and had not miscarried. That first week, my prayer was strictly for God to save our child. I knew He could do it, and I was already imagining giving the testimony of how God had saved this baby. We picked out boy and girl names, anticipating our miracle.
By the start of the second week of waiting, in the midst of praying for my miracle, came a soft voice asking simply, “Do you trust Me?” Well, of course I trust You, God. How could anyone experience what we did a few months ago and not trust You? We’ve seen Your hand in absolutely everything. “Do you trust that I’ll take care of you and your baby?” Of course I do. I’m waiting and believing for my miracle. “Then pray for MY will for your baby, not yours.” Hold up, God. Your will might not be the same as my will, and I want my baby. “If you trust Me, you will trust My plan and pray for My will.” I think I can pray Your will. You must want me to have this baby or I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant after 10 years of planning to not have more kids! So yeah, I can pray Your will! “If My will is not the same as yours and you give this child back to Me, do you believe I am enough for you?”
You see, I think those are two huge questions, and our willingness to give sacrificially, no matter how big or small the sacrifice, depends on how we answer them – do I trust God to take care of me if I give this and do I believe that God is enough for me without this in my life?
I wish I could say that I jumped up and said, “Yes, God, I give my baby back to You if that’s Your will,” but I didn’t. This wasn’t me writing a check or donating extra time; it wasn’t me handing over the last piece of cheesecake or my favorite shoes; this was my child. I felt like how Abraham must have felt when God told him to sacrifice Isaac, just without the automatic obedience. I remember crying out to God, begging for my child’s life, but at the same time knowing that just like our home, our vehicles, and our belongings, this child was only given to us for a season, and God had bigger, better plans. I knew that our baby’s life had purpose whether it was now or in what would happen after this child was gone. Through my tears, I began to pray, “God, not my will but Yours, whatever it may be. I give this baby to You.” I began to thank Him for the time we had with our baby. I still hadn’t miscarried and had no definitive physical sign that our baby was gone other than the first ultrasound, and while I still held out hope, God was preparing me. I started calling the baby Jamey Micah. These weren’t the names we had picked out for the child we expected to hold in our arms a few months later, but in my heart, I knew this baby was already on streets of gold.
A little before my husband and I went in for the second ultrasound on August 28th, one of my best friends asked me what I felt in my heart we would find out, and I remember saying, “It’s going to be okay.” I trusted God to take care of me and Jamey either way, and even if Jamey was gone, I believed God would be enough.
We didn’t get our miracle, and on September 2nd, a day before I would have been 12 weeks, we said our goodbyes to Jamey. It has been the most heartbreaking and life-altering sacrifice I have made. Medically, we couldn’t have changed anything. If I had said no to God, without His intervention, our baby still would have died, but I made the sacrifice from my heart and have grown spiritually from it. I thank Him every day for entrusting us with this precious child for the short time we had Jamey.
I don’t know if we will have more children, but I can say that God has tremendously blessed us over the past few months, more than we could have ever thought possible. Giving Jamey back to God was the hardest sacrifice we’ve made, and I know He will bless there too because He is always faithful. We trusted Him enough to give back what was never ours to start with and believed He is enough, and He has been.
Week 9 Discussion
Go to the Facebook group to join the group discussion.
- On pages 131-132, Lysa quotes Randy Alcorn in The Treasure Principle where he says, “But when I give it away, I relinquish control, power and prestige…I recognize God as owner, myself as servant, and others as the intended beneficiaries of what God has entrusted to me.” How is this view different from the “me society” we live in today?
- What makes us hesitate when we are prompted to give sacrificially? How can we move past that hesitation and into obedience?
- If you have ever given sacrificially, what was the result of your giving, i.e. how were others or you affected by it?
Bethany Taff is the adventure-seeking, half-marathon-running, stiletto-loving Women’s Ministry Coordinator at Vilonia 1st Assembly. She and her husband Justin have been married for 12 years and are parents to Jase and Jamey, as well as their furry children Shelby, Belle, Shae, Taz, and Lady.
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